Fortune telling: Germany - random guesswork or future gazing?

“Hello, who do we have on the line?” For 20 years, the presenters on German private channel Astro TV welcomed viewers with this standard greeting. No matter whether it was a question of horoscopes, clairvoyants or Tarot card readings, Astro TV came up with an - admittedly not always very realistic, but nonetheless entertaining - answer to every question. The hosts of the shows would tell the future, often quite eloquently and at times somewhat ludicrously, and rose to widespread fame mainly thanks to memes and parodies. What began as spiritual advice evolved over the years to become a great comedy show, despite this having never been the plan. Broadcasting ceased at the end of 2024 and the last fortune teller packed away her crystal ball - she probably saw it coming.

Ever since, Germany has been in uproar. After all, if there’s no one on television to read your cards, the only choice is to do it yourself! And that’s exactly what Germans are now doing. Police officers on social media are using Tarot cards to read out the rules of the road to their followers. The Devil - so does that signify a fine or just a traffic jam on the A5? A tyre dealer is using playing cards to predict whether a car will pass its MoT - the seven of spades? Better start looking for a new exhaust pipe! It’s all very much tongue-in-cheek, obviously. Even German railway operator Deutsche Bahn is using charmingly self-deprecating ways to describe train delays and track repairs in its “travel cards”. How could anyone then be annoyed if their train doesn’t turn up?

However, private individuals are also successfully using various sets of cards to predict the future on Instagram and TikTok . Influencers are using UNO cards to analyse the fears and anxieties of their enthusiastic followers or are predicting next weekend’s football scores with playing cards. Ace of hearts? Eintracht Frankfurt is going to win! Seven of diamonds? It looks like FC Bayern Munich’s goal-scoring accuracy is going to falter.

One thing is certainly clear, no matter who is reading the cards: all of the predictions are about as accurate as the weather forecast for April. We will probably have to wait for a time machine to be invented before we can expect a true glimpse of the future.